Fat like back then

I saw this graphic on Facebook today that says -

"Do you ever look back on old photos of when you thought you were fat, but you really weren't, and now you actually are fat, and wishing you were fat like back then?"

Now, body positive Fleur would say - no - I'm happy as I am now.

But completely honest Fleur would have to say - yes.

For a few different reasons.

Joints, as I am sure my new arthritis diagnosis would appreciate me being lighter.

Health, pre-diabetes would be less severe

And I'm honest enough to admit that shallow reasons are a part of it.

Clothes, would fit better

and maybe I would honestly feel confident for a change, maybe those who I find attractive would actually feel attracted to me, and maybe I wouldn't get constantly "negged" by men. (*different post at a different time for "negged")

Can I want a different image for myself and still be body positive? I surely do hope so. This is just me, being honest.

When I was a teen I thought I was hideously fat. This belief was helped along by my "best friend". She was one of those naturally thin people, she got a big kick out of making fun of me / calling me names/ feeling superior.

As I look back - I can see that at 5'7" size 12-14 I was not fat. I just wasn't as thin as she was. Now I am many sizes larger and am fat.

But since when is "Fat" such a bad thing anyway? I mean there's lots of worse things in the world. There's "cruel". There's "uncaring". There's "mean". All of these things are worse than "fat" and all of these things are quite common.

Why is "fat" any different than "short" or "tall" or "thin"?

I would like to firm up, tone down a bit -- sure. But I also realize that I will never be my naturally thin friend, either. And that is ok with me.

There's actually parts of my fat body that I love.